stop being a dick:

There comes a time in your life when you realize (real eyes) that it’s time to grow up and take responsibility for your shit.  Personal development isn’t easy.  However, when you master the ability to overcome the bullet points I’ve laid out, you will gain more respect among your peers while simultaneously being hated.

• Stop complaining: This is a tactic to gain attention. Most complainers complain about things they have no control over, thus, the reason for the complaint.  When you let go of the need to be in control, complaining becomes pointless.
• Stop playing the victim: Playing the victim goes hand and hand with complaining.  Having stumbling blocks in life is, well,  part of life. It’s the way we overcome the challenges we face.  Before complaining and playing the victim, be mindful that someone has it worse than you.
• Blaming others: Take responsibility for your shit; if you do something wrong, take ownership and learn from the experience.  Children blame others for evading responsibility.  If you are over 18, it’s time to own your shit.
• Control your anger: Controlling your emotions is one of the first things to work on because, if you are like me, I had some anger issues, which also streamed over to playing the victim.  One of the hardest things for me to overcome is slow drivers and folks that lack common sense, logic, and deductive reasoning skills.
• Be a lone wolf:  Let go of the need to be popular and liked.  The most hated men have been those that go against the collective masses.  Christ is a perfect example of this concept.  A good rule of thumb is if it’s popular and “everyone is doing it,” walk away and bare your cross.
• No one can make you happy: The Disney concept of love is that of the church.  You need someone outside yourself to feel whole.  That is the biggest bullshit lie ever in the history of bullshit lies.  “You complete me.” No one can make you happy except for you. A relationship must be 100%/100%, not 50%/50%. This concept also spills over from Christianity as the church teaches that you need a savior; again, that is bullshit.  No one is here to save you; as Prince said, “In this life, you’re on your own.”
• Talking behind others’ backs: High-level insecurity.  This includes talking about people you see in public as well.  Homeless, fat people, mentally challenged, etc.  You have no idea about their backstory.  Keep in mind it could be you.
• Starting fights: Physical and psychological.
• Projection: Blaming others for the very thing they are doing/did. This is a very tricky manipulation tactic, as it is designed to cause confusion. Narcissists and those with borderline personality disorder are masters at this.
• Boasting: No one gives a shit.  Another sign of copious amounts of insecurity.
• Gaslighting: This is the new word for lying. Be honest, stop lying and own your shit.
• Morally sound: This is the golden rule. Do unto others; an eye for an eye.  Achieve high values.
• Listening: This is the critical component of healthy communication.  There is a reason why you have two ears and one mouth.  (a variation of a quote from Epictetus)
• Validate others: In a world of the need for validation, this means validating when someone has a fantastic achievement.
• Apologizing for no reason: Saying sorry for something that someone else did is beyond annoying and is one of the most insecure acts in the human experience.  Apologize when you legitimately do something wrong.
• Stop feeding the wolf: All the world is a stage.  Become neutral.
• Dopamine hits: The need to constantly look at your phone.  The ultimate goal – get off social media forever and do something constructive.
• The need to be validated: Counterintuitive from the point above.  If you have a hangnail, keep your mouth shut.
• Eat healthily: Try intermittent fasting, stop fast food, and stop snaking; you aren’t going to die from starvation.
• You have the power: the chi is within.  You are a superhero. However, you’ve been programmed to look for something outside yourself.
• Stop manipulating others: Step back, and realize you don’t have the right to control others.
• The need to be around others: Spending time alone is powerful.  The ability to self-reflect and contemplate is how you achieve greatness and the chi within.
• Being comfortable in your own skin: Be confident, keep your head up and shoulders back, and walk with purpose.
• Problem solve: If you cannot figure something out, take the time to figure it out yourself.
• Procrastinating: Get into the mindset to do it now.  If you think about doing something, don’t wait until later or someday.
• Be grateful: Don’t be a fucking snob to the server, grocery worker, or anyone; instead, thank them, be grateful that you are alive, and have an opportunity to participate in the human experience.
• What’s your purpose: Are you doing what you love?  If not, why?  What’s your passion?
• Let go: When you let go, you lose your belief system; some may call it nihilism.  When you realize that good and evil are part of human existence, and one cannot exist without the other, the “creator” allows it.  Because YOU are the creator.  Let go of past issues that you had with someone.  Holding a  grudge for years and years is childish and unhealthy.
• Forgive: Let it go, move the fuck on, and get on with your life.
• The need to be in control:  Man does not have the right to control another man.
• Declutter: Do you have a shit lying around the house that you haven’t used in years?  Are your closets jammed full? Are you able to park your car in the garage? Do you pay for additional storage space? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to declutter your life.   I know it is hard to let go of the things that have sentimental value. However, ask yourself this. Have I used this in the past two years?  You can’t take your belongings with you when buried six feet under.  When you declutter, you will ultimately feel better. Decluttering also means getting rid of your liabilities. Do you have a boat you use a couple of times a year?  Getting rid of the things that weigh you down financially causes unneeded stress.  It’s also a great idea to clean your living space.  Removing items in your life will save money and make you feel more enriched and free.