overrated bands
In the world of rock n roll, there are several bands that the masses are brainwashed into thinking they are the best thing since sliced bread. This is a phenomenon that has always made me scratch my head, as I’m one of those that have never followed social norms; in fact, my philosophy is, if it’s popular, stay the fuck away. Hence, the reason why the following band’s fucking suck proverbial ass.
*please note, these are in no particular order, because suck can’t have a numerical sequence.
queen
Words can’t express how much I loathe this fucking band with their anthem-based sound that makes my spine cringe with copious amounts of pain. Seriously what’s so amazing with songs like Bicycle Race, Another one bites the Dust, Fat bottom girls, I wanna break free, and the list goes on, as none of their songs can even be considered rock as Freddie Mercury’s teeth get in the way of him pronouncing words properly. Now, if I were going to say one thing good about the band, it would be Brian May, a phenomenal guitarist who was never given a chance to showcase his talent. If you don’t like what I’m saying, and this triggers you, kick fucking rocks. (no pun intended)
The Beatles
I’m going to get a lot of flack for this one. However, the Beatles are nothing more than a bubble gum pop rock CIA mind-control boy band from Liverpool, England. The behind-the-scenes conspiracies that haunt this band are beyond comprehension. This leads me to my next point: Most rock bands say The Beatles were their influence, which is all part of the conspiracy. Now, there is a caveat to this, as there is one song they did that was genius and very underrated; it was recorded and produced on an 8-track machine, which is hard to believe, and Lennon used a guitar-picking concept he learned from Donovan. That song is Dear Prudence from their White Album.
AC/DC
Now, it is not that this band is horrible because they aren’t. However, AC/DC is one of those bands where every song sounds the same which is redundant and fucking annoying.
kiss
I never understood the fascination with this (so-called) band. Why did I say, “So-called?” Because I’m not 100% sure that the members of KISS sing or play instruments, and I’m confident that KISS is nothing more than a “Gimmick” that made most of their money on “Limited Edition” swag. In the ’80s, a movie called “Spinal Tap” hit the silver screen; when I left the theater, I told my friends that the film was a metaphor for KISS. They all thought about it for a minute, laughed, and said, “You have too much Chi.” I also watched some episodes of “Gene Simmons Family Jewels,” which ran on A&E for 6 years. This show convinced me the band was fake as their persona.
Metallica
This is another band that I never could jump on board with. Don’t get me wrong, Nothing Else Matters; their cover of Hemmingway and the Bee Gees’ “For Whom the Bell Tolls” and “Enter Sandman” are great songs, but in my opinion, they are the only songs with merit. And let’s not forget Lars’s drumming style; mouth has always been the band’s joke.
Nickleback
It’s no secret that Nickelback is on the Bands that suck list. However, because of that title, Chad Kroger and company have managed to keep their head above water by treading with pure perseverance and not giving a shit what their peers think of them. Photograph is the song that broke this band, as I’m sure it’s about Chad’s first homosexual relationship.
The Rolling stones
The Stones are highly overrated, as they only have a few good songs, not to mention the now pickled Keith Richards guitar riffs are nothing special, and neither is Charlie Watts drumming; in fact, the guy is one of the worst drummers in the history of worst drummers. As for Mick Jagger? I’m confident that Adam Lavine has had a secret relationship with him. Nevertheless, the band doesn’t suck all the way, as one of the best songs ever recorded is, in my opinion, “Gimme Shelter.”
the Who
Yet another band that doesn’t suck but is highly overrated by the masses, as they have never had a number-one hit, remains highly regarded. However, in my opinion, their best song is “Eminence Front.” It would have been an excellent intro for NCIS, Los Angeles. And finally, Pete Townsend is a great guitarist and showman, and Roger Daltry’s mic-twirling and unique pseudo-Kermit the Frog throat make the band one of the most memorable.
update | (10.27.2023)
Since writing the above rhetoric, I have had a come to Jesus moment with myself, at which I would like to retract my nomination and remove The Who from the vault, as I must have been in a bad mood when I wrote the above bullshit, as I wasn’t thinking about how influential The Who are with joints like Won’t Get Fooled Again, Baba O’Riley, not to mention movies like Tommy and Quadraphinia. And let us not forget about Pete Townsend smashing guitars and extraordinary guitar riffs and writing style. I fucked up, and for that, I apologize.
Fleetwood Mac
This band seems to fly under the radar as far as overrated bands. However, Fleetwood Mac is way overrated. A few factors that go into this are that the band has always been full of drama, with a carousel of personnel changes and the feuds between band members bringing their drama into the mix. Perhaps this has been a conspiracy to keep the band on the radar? A perfect example of this would be the feud between Stevie Nicks and Linsey Buckingham, as these two cannot be in the same room with each other, yet, if you have ever seen the band in concert, the two had perfect chemistry. Then they go and kick the dude to the curb all because Stevie is unable to let go. Then the ongoing feud between Christie MacVie, who received the golden ticket in the band because of her on-again-off-again husband, John. Now that she has passed, that aspect will no longer be a factor. I digress.
the eagles
I don’t even know where to begin with this fucking band. I am proud to say that I have never owned an Eagles Record, CD, an mp3, FLAC, or any digital copy of this band, despite the fact “Hotel California has a profound esoteric meaning as to what this reality is. (“You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”) However, I am a fan of Joe Walsh, as he, in my opinion, is an underrated musician, songwriter, and producer. I have never understood why he’s still part of the band.
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